How to Tell the People you LOVE you have Cancer

 I am a Googler, I do not like Bing or ANY of the other search engines, but my surgery was on Monday and this was Friday so I just had to dive right in.  Fortunately or unfortunately I knew what to expect, the best and worst case scenario.  Fortunately, some of the people I worked with already knew and I could count on them to tell my work family.  I started making phone calls on the way to my car.  Obviously, my husband first, he knew about the Abdominal Scan and had texted me earlier to see if I had heard about the results.  Tears and facts, shock and comfort in having surgery so quickly.

I had to move on and I had promised my GYN ONC I would load up on Protein before my surgery since the Acites were sucking it up.  So I continued to make phone calls on my way to Whole Foods.  Up next, my sisters.  My baby sister, the 5th grade teacher was on her field trip, short and sweet, not much you can say. Fortunately, my other sister went to voicemail, I knew unless she was not working or on a break, she would not answer the phone.  I knew I needed a break.  I knew I needed to call my BFF next, she would handle letting alot of the VIP's in my life know.  A point person, that is what I needed to focus on, I called my sister-in-law next, then one of my work BFF's.

One of my BFF's had just been diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer.  I had shared with her the day before I was getting my Abdominal scan, mostly because I realized it probably was not the 21 grain and seed bread and I probably needed some sort of medical procedure.  We had all planned to be together on Memorial Day Weekend.  The family we choose...ski trips, non-important holidays...we are usually all together.  Our kids are as close as cousins...our husbands, friends for decades.

When I called her, she was in the ER.  Her wrist was swollen, the same side as her mediport, she did not know if she had a clot.  Her attention and support sprung into action despite her continuous pain and current fear of some new ailment she was going through.  "What can they do?!" she and her husband, who had been my husband's BFF since Middle School, asked.  I said, please tell the other boys, the adult boys.

Now onto my other partner in crime who was the other mother of the people we choose.  How was I going to tell her not only our BFF has cancer but I do to?!  I felt like I was playing a cruel joke.  Shock...no words...it was going to take a minute to grasp all this coming at us like a wrecking ball.

My dad, My Aunt and I still had to tell my children...all the point people were coming through for me.  I saw my neighbor as I was getting out of my car.  Fortunately, we both are straight and to the point people who can cover miles of information in 3 minutes.  I knew she would carry the ball for me and save me SO many direct conversations.  I took pause in just how many point people and people I had in my life. 

I drove one of the twins to track practice, he had a time trial...I picked up my daughter in the parking lot like I had so many times before.  Ambush, she knew about the scan the night before and she wanted results.  Here it was, about to go down, my worst fear, I had always prided myself being stronger than my children...when did that change?!  The C word, the one they had just heard about our friend.  Her tears made it feel real.  She used to have a sweatshirt with the saying, 'It is what it is,' she thought it was about her because of her name.  

Baby sister showed up...shit was getting real alright...My very thoughtful child was next, I knew it would take time and eventually there would be questions.  He told me to text me if he needed him.  My sister called back, then she called baby sister who was there.  My daughter was so confused?!  Why weren't we on speaker phone together??  I told her this is the way we work.  

Finger on the pulse child was back from his time trial, I only had a little left in me.  The floods unleashed, he was trying to keep the finger on the pulse but it is hard when you are trying to find the pulse under water.